Track 1- Tentatively titled Americans, Puerto Ricans and Aluminum cans. Suddenly without warning it hit us when Lionel Richie hypnotically entered the room, sung four bars of the perennial eighties classic "suddenly life has new meaning to me"... and Voila, we deemed it Shave the Planet, our title track to our opus maximus, guaranteed to give us instance stardom... and to give you life draining critics hours of things to complain about.

Track 2- "Capitalizing From Plump Mistakes", hmm. Well, did you listen to the song? Did you hear the lyrics? Then figure it out Einstein. Seriously who in their right mind would want to even fuck a fat chick, much less spend the rest of eternity going down on a portly old bag with children from a previous marriage?

Track 3- In all seriousness folks. This song in particular is our "opus" we began the whole process by covering a well known black flag number, and realizing the understated genius of Greg Ginn's Axe Wielding... we decided to form a song in the vein and in the honor of the late Mr. Ginn... may he rest in peace...

Ryan- he's not dead is he?

Mark: No stupid, that's Chuck Wagon from the Dickies, sad but true.

This song is actually (in spite of the title and Chuck's passing) a perfect example of the poise and balance of Don's creative guitar playing... the rest of the guys did some stuff too. All in all a song of perfect imbalance.

Track 4- Ryan actually brought this one to the table, and Mark promptly destroyed it with his substandard eloquence, and his selfish "I'm funnier than everyone it's all about me, me, me first" attitude. We tried like hell to get it right, but the truth is, it sounded more pleasing to us when compared with the rest of our contrived crap.

Track 5- Our Fat Mexican T-shirt peddler, who sells chiclets and t-shirts to the the punters at our shows, came up with this title... and we in typical fashion ran it into the ground, much Like John Denver did in his experimental aircraft... may he rest in peace as well.

Track 6- Darby Crash is deceased... what a shame. But since he is in fact no longer with us, fuck him! He can't do shit about this song. This was one of Mark's masterful poems. Like a Shakespeare's Puck masterfully wielding the the pan flute Mark's writing quill flowed across the paper with poetic grace and steadfast stupidity. The end product and result of Mark's childlike conceptualization is a story about Darby eating at Arby's which just so happened to be down the street from the former Cathay De Grande. The "Rock and Roll Denny's" was also in that neighborhood... but I don't think Darby ever ate there. Rest in Peace... Bobby Pin

Track 7- While Cubby was in fact a "typo" we said "fuck it let's run with it." Mark has always had a fascination with Frankie and Annette. One of Annette's former co-stars, Cubby, never quite had the gumption to follow in the weaker sexe's footprints (meaning Annette). After all, have you ever seen Back To The Beach starring Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello as ""The Beach People" but really, this song has absolutely nothing to do with that... at all. Obviously it is about fat chicks that try to disguise their robust posteriors with the clever placement of hooded sweatshirts neatly knotted at the waist. While their face might look good, their clever ruse to hide their fat asses can't fool my discerning eyes. Roast in beef, you tubby piles of crap.

Track 8- Straight to the point, if you have ever been to Japan, they have vending machines for everything, including, beer, coffee and used panties for your sniffing pleasure. So I thought it would be great if they had ones that sell blow as well, like in Columbia and Peru, where we summer in the Andes, instead of going on the Warped Tour.

Track 9- This could be a movie review of the 1960's caper classic "Bullitt" starring yours truly Steve McQueen... but Gene Siskel's dead, may he rest in peace. Instead I have decided to mock the working man whilst I vacation in the Andes with the band. The common man works his greasy balls off while all the time fearing the he will be outsourced or replaced by an undocumented worker without any warning. Meanwhile I, Steve McQueen, sip strawberry margaritas, play Frisbee golf and snort volumes of Columbian marching powder whilst I wait for my next big casting call. Here's to you working man –Steve "Lieutenant Frank Bullitt" McQueen

Track 10- We were in touch with our cosmic guru on this one, as well as Nicholas Cage's agent... we got no call back, much to our dismay. In retaliation for the Hollywood snubbing, we declared war on the "Vals". For more information on the topic of Vals" rent Valley Girl Starring Nicholas Cage as the street wise city slicker romantically involved with Julie as the "Val." For this song in particular, I was incensed by Mr. Cage's outright disregard for my mental health... I'm sensitive. So, from my lofty vantage point above you readers, I touched on a tidbit of the finer things in life and transmogrified it into a cosmic poem about self doubt and self loathing. for more information on this subject rent "Leaving Las Vegas" starring Nicholas Cage as a washed up caricature of himself... I think we're are done, may we rest in peace.

-Your Friends, Guttermouth